My Mother Always Said

When you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all. I know that is an old been around the block kind of a saying but for the past few weeks that is the motto I have been living by. At least when it comes to writing in this little blog of mine…. now after a few weeks, I think, I have my head cleared up enough to finally let it out.

On Saturday, August 13, 2011,  I was told that an incredibly important person to me did not have much time left to spend with the rest of us here in this little thing we call life. This was something I was sort of expecting because a recent (re)diagnosis about her breast cancer had not gone well, but I honestly was not ready for it to happen so quickly (nor was anyone else for this matter). So after crying on the shoulders of two caring and amazing friends on Saturday and  spending hours googling whatever cheap flights we could (there may have been a bottle of wine and some junk food involved…) then spending Sunday baking cupcakes with the PIC and her two amazingly adorable children to keep my mind occupied... I finally shoved whatever I could find in my room in a suitcase at 2 am Monday morning and was one a plane home by 11 that Monday….  This was the going to be the beginning of an incredibly hard transition for me, my family and a lot of people around me. How do you fit enough time in with someone you love and try to still just enjoy it without constantly wondering about what the next two weeks might bring? There is no way to prepare and it was the most intense learning and growing experience I have had since I have moved here…. This woman was one of the most encouraging, kind hearted, open minded, funny and loving woman I have ever been blessed to have in my life over the last 20 years. She has been more than a friend of the family (and so has the rest of this fantastic clan) she (well all of them) are my family...

We have spent camping trips (a lot in the rain), hikes up Mt. Monadnock on the coldest and windiest days of the year, parrot head concerts, endless holidays, nights of Wamser Whammies, graduations, proms, Superbowls and everything else you can think of in between together.

Whether we were comparing who’s butt was tighter and more toned (she always won), or if I was shedding tears because of the love of my life at that moment in time, fears about moving here to Paris, drunken Skype calls, or just exchanging simple emails gossiping and catching up, she was always a breath of fresh air and took on the motherly role with open arms and never thought twice about it. But she wasn't just another mother to me and my sister but she also was my Mom's best friend and her PIC (Partner in Crime) ....

I don't have many memories that don't involve the two of them laughing or plotting some crazy bike trip, vacation or just a night out at Chili's so we could all be together!! I was not only blessed enough to have her in my life but I was lucky enoughto have the opportunity (Thanks to my parents and a fantastic boss) to spend time with her before she passed. In this time everyone laughed, remembered, cried, ate and drank with many toasts to memories... and well... we were all just there for each other. It reinforced something I have always held incredibly dear to me, my family, and the love we all have. The time I spent at home was very bittersweet but it is a time I won't ever forget and although my "other mother" may not be here with us in person anymore, I KNOW that she left us knowing how loved she was, how important, influential and treasured she was and I KNOW that somewhere right now she is watching over all of us and well probably just hoping we have all stopped crying and are making the best of what we can and moving forward doing things that would make her proud.... 

Getting back to normal has been interesting this week and I know it will get easier but I feel like I have a bit of a different perspective on things now and I plan on using that perspective to make sure that I make the most of everything I have around me. I especially want to make sure that the people who were there for me, more than I could have ever imagined, know how much that means and that right now I just can't even find the words (shocking) to describe how lucky I am to be surrounded by those friends and my family.